Ash-holes

I'd like to preface this post by sincerely apologizing in advance if I offend anyone with the following post. I mean absolutely no harm to my friends of different faiths.

It's Ash Wednesday. A holiday, if that's even the correct term, that I don't understand and, frankly, hate. Since I grew up as one of the only Jews in a WASP-y high school you'd think I would be a pro when it comes to Western Christianity. Oh No Sir, I'm a total novice! I had no idea what Ash Wednesday was all about until my second semester in college when I was sitting in a 100+ person lecture with a bunch of people with shit all over their foreheads. Luckily I was sitting with someone who quickly educated me on Catholic Rituals before I made the mistake of telling someone they needed to clean their face off.

My real problem with this "holiday" is the fact that I can not stop staring at people; usually with my mouth hanging open until I get caught and try to nonchalantly look away. I guess my opposition to this tradition is a personal problem that I'll have to deal with on my own terms. And I know most religions (mine included) require us, at times, to do things that could be interpreted as goofy of ridiculous. But I could never take part in an activity that requires for someone to not only touch my face but also put schmootz on it. NO Thank You! Also, Ash Wednesday totally screws up my work schedule. All day my co-workers come and go as they please to and from Mass leaving me to cover them.

So, you ask me, "did you have a good day today?" No, I did not! I couldn't stop staring at the hoards of people with a third eye in between answering phones and executing trades... long day.